A septum, that is! And most likely, your’s is deviated. But I digress.
Actually, I don’t. I think this whole post is going to a wonderful version of TMI. Buckle up, kiddos!
My Doc, otherwise known as Rocky Balboa, (truthfully, ask this guy, Doc is a dead ringer and has the voice down), sent me for some bloodwork, since “yah a redhead”. Translation: you bleed a lot. But, first, he had to look at me and tell me “WHOA. That’s a septum”. And my personal favorite, “Ecck. Those are some bad lookin’ tonsils”. I worked with his scheduler to learn all about what I can’t do. I asked about the alcohol restrictions. In front of a full waiting room. Twice. Once I noticed that the instructions were basically telling me absolutely no drinks for a month, I needed some clarity since there are celebrations, holidays, and weddings in that 4 week span!
Then I headed down to meet 2 great lab techs. Seriously, I walked down and they said “Oohh, girl we never see anyone which such a smile on her face, especially after a long day. I love it. THANK you, girl”. Whoa! I laughed and said I didn’t know why, I was just reading about my deviated septum, which lead to a long discussion about their past and upcoming surgeries.
Ramon, my personal phlebotomist (yah, I said it), was hysterical. We were a comedic duo. I’ve never had so much fun giving blood. He used very advanced technology to test how long it takes me to stop bleeding. He stuck me, then turned on a stop watch. FYI 6:10 is my best time 🙂
Ramon made me feel less like I needed to belong on this show, due to my intense line of questioning around beveraging after surgery. He reschedule his surgery for January, from Nov 1 because “hell, no not the day after Halloween!”
After suturing me up, he told me to leave it all on until it falls off. Even if the bandages get dirty. I said fantastic, I’m always looking for ways to tell people I don’t shower (there may be some truth to this statement). Then I won’t have to break into the chorus of “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”.
I think we could be BFFs. It’s kinda sentimental, “we met when stabbed me in the blood and watched how long it took me to bleed out”.
Well, I hope you have enjoyed this silly musings. Maybe I can pass it off as relevant since its near Halloween…nah! All in all, fantastic way to end my day!