How to Be Alone: Be Fearless

Keep on being fearless….

While my friend Katie did not utter these exact words, her message did. Our recent convo went a little like this:

Me: Got a hot second? if not no worries- so not an emergency.

K: Of course!

Me: [Enter latest stress]

K: I know exactly what you’re going through. It is hard to not want to bend over backward for others.

Me: Yeah….

K: Just remember that you’re awesome. Find yourself a distraction. Dance, have fun. You’re allowed to feel whatever emotions you feel and  do whatever you need. BUT keep on being AWESOME KATE!

Out of context this may not make the best sense. Regardless, Katie’s advice is universal.  Be kind to ourselves , feel the emotions as they come, and make sure to keep moving forward.

Later, I saw another friend’s posting on Facebook. She’s dealing with depression, and publicly- for that I give her a major kudos. And as it often does in the most ‘normal’ of moments, revelation struck. I realized that when my life was super challenging (hello, 2011), fear was often a cornerstone. When I was stuck, fear kept me from moving forward. When I was sad, fear stopped me from realizing the future could be even brighter. When I was heartbroken,  fear wouldn’t let me let go of the life I had loved.

And so what does this make me want to do? Go be fearless, live with abandon. Dance with a free heart, laugh with glee. And sure if I come home tonight and need a moment to myself, I will kindly take it- no questions (of myself) will be asked. And in all these moments, I’ll strive to live my life, placing the fear down, and saying yes to the unknown future ahead.

*** Personal note: As I’ve shared, I have a monthly video call with 2 very dear friends, one being Katie. We live in 3 time zones with very divergent schedules, but we make it work. And each time, we are amazed at how good it is to connect with each other, and what powerful motivators we are for each other. I urge you to do the same! Pick up the phone, use FaceTime, Oovoo, Skype, or even better travel to see a good friend. You won’t be sorry!

3 responses

  1. It took me far too many wasted years to “GET” this! But it is so valuable! Moms, especially, struggle with that vital ‘me’ time. If you are not happy within and with yourself, you cannot begin to tend properly to the needs of those around you; especially their emotional need. I have a special group of girl friends, some from my Primary school days still – I’m 53! We get together on-line very often, often daily. They all know one another too, and it is my life-line, sanity saver, and good old fun! Highly recommended! Kate you are very wise!

    • I’m still working on it myself. Each day is a journey, but in the aggregate if we can love & accept ourselves, we are doing well. Yes, good friends are the key in life! My one friend has often told me – we are always gonna be friends…you know too much 😉 !

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