Driving home from a late night class a week ago, my thoughts theme-dashed around change. A new year starting but with endings in sight, how do we rectify these dichotomies.
I thought about my upcoming birthday. Well, what do you want, I thought?
TH-WACK. Right in the chest it hit. Knocking the wind out of me while brimming of tears begun at my eyes.
I want one day before 2/27 back.
Memories of life last year flooded back. Visits to the house and trying to find new ways to entertain and be with Mom. Promises of tennis matches and lunch dates with Dad in NYC to come. And later small mentions of Dad’s issues with grip in his left hand.
More than a week later, this thought still hits at my emotional core. It’s true. I want that back.
And that small, still voice dares to remind me…I still have a few more. While these days are different, filled with change, filled with losses and grief, there are a few more.
While I can’t rectify these two things, there is space for them both.
So welcome home.