Letters to a Young Intern

Dear Young Friend,

Welcome to the workforce. We work in the jungle: in the thick of things, on conference calls, in taxis or in immaculate board rooms. Anywhere and everywhere, is often our office.

Therefore, I wish to share with you a few insights. These do not come from a haughty self-righteous attitude, but a humble account of a lessons learned.

1. Just show up (on time). Be open, and ready for most anything. Say yes to the crappy jobs, build character while doing them, and if nothing else, know that they make great happy-hour stories.

2. Say yes. Yes, I really told you to say yes to the crappy jobs, we’ve all done them! Take time also to learn the difference between just saying no vs. saying no so as to say yes to yourself.

3. Be compassionate and inclusive. Supporting others comes in many forms and being rude, snappy, or needlessly segregated, will fail you. Dealing with difficult people will always be a learning experience- don’t miss out.

4. Be Respectfully Assertive. You will inevitably brush up against moral strife, exhaustion, and petty conflicts in your journey. Stand up for yourself. Address the issue, offer a solution, and move on, only after you have voiced your concerns.

5. Recharge. Create moments in your day and life at large to find your balance. Daily prayer, journaling, weekends away are all opportunities to do this. If you don’t know how to find yourself in the midst of chaos, you’ll never be at peace.

6. Find mentors. Be it formal or just those you admire. Reflect on why you look up to them and build strong connections.

7. Know your worth. You have incredible, unique, and undiscovered talents. Find ways to use them. They are inherent tools for your success.

8. Take Risks. Ask questions, take initiative, be vulnerable. Remember, sometimes it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

And finally,

9. Know that you are not for sale.  Take a note from the Financial Guru Suze Orman (while you are at it, check out her book ). Suze says you are not for sale. This means your worth is not set by others, it is set by you. Don’t mistake “free labor” as unworthy of your time. If it helps you work toward your goals, go for it. But when the time comes,don’t be afraid to ask for your worth to be reflected in your compensation. Remain realistic and gracious, regardless of the answer, yet take the time to let others know how you value yourself.

Remember, you are a student for life. Read, reflect and enjoy.  Go forth friend, writing your own story. I look forward to learning from it.

Your fan,

Kate

How to Be Alone: Create

In HTBA, we explore the positive encounters that occur when we are alone! This week….use your imagination!

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You have one task. Be alone, then create whatever you wish you could. Or had the time to. Or the ability to. No judgements- just do!

My example is cooking. I love to do this, but never thought I’d create a recipe. I did!

My recreated Ginger Sauce (adapted from here), has tons of uses:

• Add to soups and sauces for a smoky kick
• Use it as a salad dressing- it makes any veggie appetizing
• Make your own spring rolls and use it for dipping sauce
• Roast some sweet potato and slather this on top
• Stir fry and soba noodles, anyone?

This kind of thinking doing is liberating. If it sucks, so what? I’ve made plenty of mediocre dinners and a few that classify as disasters. But, if I hadn’t thrown caution to the wind, these delightful dishes would not have grace my hands…or my happy belly!

Take the time today to create. Relish in your creation that is just for you!

“Changing the Way We Eat”

I awoke to a once normal, but now shocking, scene: snow! During a very atypical winter, I had made plans, never thinking they would be derailed by a mini storm. Unfortunately, our four inches canceled my trip. Today was Tedx Manhattan’s “Changing the Way We Eat” event, and I going to attend a viewing party at a great farm an hour away.

Instead, I fired up my laptop decided to create my own viewing  blogging party! Throughout the day, I joined thousand of other web participants where we collectively learned about brilliant projects that are designing a better food system, one step at a time. Some of these brainchilds included recirculating farms, green walls providing food and entrepreneurial skills to middle schoolers in the Bronx, and the Organic Therapy Project which is helping veterans re-acclimate through the producing food.

While it’s impossible to have a favorite amongst such inspiring stories, there was one that spoke to me and my passion for seeing the eradication of hunger. When Gary Oppenheimer stated that “the opposite of hungry isn’t full- it’s healthy”, I knew I would like his work! Ampleharvest.org was created for those with plenty to give to those in need. If you know a garderner, chances are you have been ‘blessed’ with their overabduance of zucchini or another group. This site connects the dots, of those with ample fresh food with those in need of it. Best of all, it empowers community members to take care of their community. All that was needed was a bit of knowledge sharing. Having worked at a food pantry that was in desperate need of fresh produce, I’m so grateful for this tool.

Today, I heard from individuals who started with nothing more than an idea. They didn’t start with capital, it came to them along the way. They weren’t handed the map, the improvised with their idea. Their interest was not solely self-serving, it was beneficial to a much larger audience: their local and global communities.

There is so much creativity in how we change systems. Go radical, dream big, put your hands and heart to work.  Starting small to a major food overhaul. That is how we will see change.

We are ready for you.

THE Advice

When I have spoken of balancing  life given the presence of Alzheimer’s, there is one statement I have heard over and over again:

“Don’t forget to live your life, too”.

Each time I’m told that, it knocks the breath out of me. Trying to live, and live to the fullest while those you love suffer, is emotionally paralyzing.

And yet, it’s true.

There is a choice, and it is one of life or death. Mine.

Therefore, after some thought, I have come up with a quick list of actions that I want to take more often in order to “live my life too”:

1. Talk about my mom. Tell stories. Some friends have never met  my mother but I’d like to share her regardless.
2. Ask for help. Where I might not like having to call someone when I’m crying, I just need to do it.
3. Journal/Pray/Meditate. These are good forms of putting words to my struggles and finding pathways of peace.
4. Have fun. Go out, form new interests, plan great activities a.k.a. live a little.

I’m in my twenties. My world is not “deal every day with the reality of Alzheimer’s” OR “live the quintessential twenty-something’s life”. It’s both. This may not be the path of most of my peers, but it is mine. And living, no matter how complicated the balancing act is, is something I refuse to forget how to do.

How to be Alone: Be Your Only Roomate!

I LOVE living alone. Trust me, I never, ever thought I would utter those words.

I’m a people person- I enjoying hanging out with friends, meeting new people, just interacting with others. After having some great living experiences with family, in college, studying abroad, even in community, I just couldn’t imagine consistently coming home to an empty house. Nor did I think my budget could handle such an expense. But, like many things in life, what was offered was way better than I could have imagined!

While looking for a new place to call my own, I first focused on friends. When our timings on new places weren’t jiving, I started the new-age roommate search ala websites. Then, when my friend (and faithful blog reader!) told me she had an apartment to lease and did I know anyone who was interested, I said “YES, ME!”

The rest is history.

So, why do I love living alone?

• You can leave your stuff wherever you want!
• There is something so great about knowing that your hard-working self afforded this place.
• Everything is yours and yours alone- decorate, cook, scream, dance, do whatever.
• No worrying about shower schedules or kitchen times or laundry fights.
• You have space.

The final one for me is the most important. I had no idea how much I needed physical space until I had it. Having space, literally away from distractions has allowed me to process some major changes in my life without worrying if I’m being anti-social, too introspective, or who might disturb me.

If I’m honest, I think one of the reasons I could never envision living alone, let alone actually thriving in it, is because I was afraid. I was afraid to be alone, to be all by myself…sing with me, “don’t wanna be all by myself….anymore”. Seriously, it was terrifying to think that there would be no easy escapes, no one in the next room to reassure you that you are a great person, or someone easy to get annoyed at that wasn’t yourself, like that person who won’t let you watch your favorite TV show, how dare they! I’d have to find that acceptance within me.

Sure, there are days when I wish someone would just walk through the door, or would sit at my dinner table, or would sing along to the radio, or could pray with. Those moments will again come. Until then, I’m loving my alone space, because it gives me ample room to learn what it is to be me.

Of Every Blessing

Find your blessings.

Tune your awareness to every moment.

And be graced by the presence of love.

 

There are moments in life where music connects you immediately to the spiritual.

Last Friday, I heard this song come on. Lyrics I felt but could never have said coupled with incredible harmony, led me to a place of peace. Today, I hope you discover every blessing that comes before you.

 

 

Creamy Butternut Ginger Soup

A Kate Says Yes first: An Original Recipe!

This recipe was born from being a beneficiary of friends cleaning out their fridge before the holidays (thanks Ben!) as well as trying to make a butternut squash soup that I ACTUALLY found tasty. Generosity+risk=a winning recipe!

The ginger gives the slightest smoky flavor, which as a vegetarian I miss! As for the ginger sauce, I found this recipe in Natural Health Magazine.

Got all these goodies?

Ingredients:

• 1 medium sized butternut squash, cooked and pureed*

*My preferred way to cook butternut squash is to roast it at 350° in the oven for 40-60 minutes. I plop it on a baking sheet, take a fork and poke holes all over it, and put it in the oven. Turn it over once. When it is done, i.e. fairly tender, let it cool and then cut it from top to the rounder bottom. Take out the seeds, remove the flesh from the skin with a spoon, and put the flesh in the blender. Puree!

My adapted Ginger Miso Sauce

• 1 cup Miso or Vegetable Stock
• 1 tablespoon of garlic, minced
• 1/4 cup fresh ginger, minced
• 1/4 cup agave nectar or honey
• 1/4 cup shoyu
• 2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil**
• Pinch of crushed red pepper flakes

Put all ingredients into your blender and mix until smooth. This makes about 12 ounces. You can keep this in the fridge and use later in the week for stir fry.

**You may think, “Oh, I will skip this ingredient, its a small amount and I won’t use it again”. Don’t! It is crucial to this recipe, and so incredibly delish you will use it again (from portobello “burgers” to everyday salads)!

Combining your puree and sauce to make soup:

1. For every cup of pureed butternut squash, add 3 tablespoons of your ginger sauce.
2. Place your pureed squash and your sauce into the blender and mix until smooth. Transfer to stove-top and heat on medium until hot, stirring intermittently.
3. Enjoy!

Creamy Butternut Ginger Soup!

Optional Ingredients (for one serving):

• 1/5 c of oat flour (throw rolled oats, not quick oats, in your blender on high until a fine flour is created and add to soup mixture for a creamy meal)
• 1/4 c of veggie stock to add to butternut squash puree (for a less creamy soup)
•  Sage leaves for decoration and more flavor

Calling on your conscience…via your cell phone

Cover via Amazon

I suspect many of you know about Conflict Minerals. Many months ago, I wrote about a few steps your could take to address this issue.  In November, my introduction was:

“Why this industry and this region? Remember the movie Blood Diamonds, with Leonardo DiCaprio? Well, today there is a similar issue  with certain minerals in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. The “3 T’s” (tin, tantalum, and tungsten) and gold are fueling a civil war, and are referred to as conflict minerals. Groups like ENOUGH! provide great information about what is happening on the ground and what we as consumers can do. One of the best books I have EVER read was authored by the group’s founders, Not On Our Watch.

While the concerns around conflict minerals are not solved, there have been great steps forward. The Dodd-Frank Act last year contained two pieces related to the issue. The Securities and Exchange Commission now write new rules for public companies that will require them to prove that they are not using conflict minerals“.

Then in November, I shared how my conference time in Zambia was spent on related issues of the extractive industry, and how to work on this issue further. So, why am I reminding you of all of this information? Because today you can make a difference.

By visiting this page, you can send your mobile phone carrier a letter, asking for conflict-free options and asking them to better alternatives, since our cellphones along with other technology devices often have these minerals within them.

How long will this action take? I’d say about a minute. It’s probably one of the shortest “calls” you can make, with maybe the largest impact.

Disclosure: I know of Everence through my work, but have not been asked to endorse this program.

How to Be Alone: Love Through Loss

Chances are if you are classifying yourself as “alone” you, at some point, have experienced a loss.

Most of us are blessed enough to start out with others: be it families, friends, relationships, a community, etc. But life happens.  And in life, we experience all kinds of losses: death, break-ups, moving away, losing touch, and more.

But one person who never leaves you? You.

Recently, I found myself saying to a good friend going through an ending of a relationship:

“Do what you need to. Cry. Laugh. Love yourself.  Because if you let it, this moment can be the strongest teacher in how to love yourself”.

And it’s true. Despite being wonderful social beings, we walk in and out of this world with only ourselves. If we can first love ourselves during a period of loss, then work on loving others, we send a ripple of benefits out into the world.

When we more deeply love ourselves,  “alone” becomes a far more palatable word.

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Check out the previous HTBA posts:

• Introduction
  
• Dining Alone

First Friday # 3!

It’s that time again, First Fridays for Food Security, where myself and countless others try to live in solidarity with those experiencing hunger.

My goal for the day was to spend between $5.17-$6.61 for the entirety of my food costs.

How did I arrive at these numbers? If I could have the maximum SNAP benefits allowed for a 1 person household, it would be $6.61 a day. However, the thrifty plan of the USDA for 1 female is only with just $5.17. Since I doubt I’d receive a maximum allowance, I tried to fall some where in between these numbers.

1. An 80 cent Breakfast: Organic milk $3.19 for ½ gallon= 4oz=.20cents; Cereal- $2.99/12 servings .25cents; Fair Trade Coffee .40cents
2. A $2.60 Lunch: Organic Lettuce .75cents; Organic carrot .25cents; Whole wheat bread and homemade veggie burger- 1.10cents; Grapefruit- .50cents
3. A $1.90 Dinner Tortilla Soup $1; Organic Tortilla Chips .20 cents; Mama Pea’s Mmmm Sauce .63cents; Seltzer .07

Meaning, my total was a mere .13cents over the Thrifty Plan but still below the maximum SNAP benefits!

Reflecting back on previous lessons that I learned in the Fall with this exercise, I see that I failed  to implement a few. Such as: Planning my meals in advance or having 100% accuracy in cost. On the positive side, I see that have have furthered my commitment to eating in regards to my personal food philosophy and in fighting hunger.

In addition, this time around I realized something else. No matter how much I try, I don’t think I could most fully or most accurately account for all the costs of my meals. This became starkly obvious to me, as I started this day with watching a bit of Crude Awakening.

Do my estimated food costs include travel, fuel, refining, or machinery costs? No. Do they account for just wages and fair pay? Partially. Do they account for water used, be it in a stressed or scarce area? No.

But do these costs matter? Absolutely. Yet often, they are seen as externalities. Spill over costs. Nothing more.

I disagree with that logic, but also lack the ability to accurately factor these costs into my First Friday budget.

So what have I learned from this third First Friday for Food Security exercise? That there are no real externalities in a world that we all share. In the same way, hunger is not an externality. It is a true detriment to our society and to our human race.

And that’s a cost we need to cut.